My life as of late
Thinking about my future makes me sick to my stomach. I hate what is happening right now. I do not want to give a senior recital and it is making me question whether I will even declare my major. I am not good enough and I don’t want to do it!
And I am currently involved with someone who could probably not care less about me. I don’t know. I have made so many mistakes along the way and now I don’t even know where I stand and in this whole thing. He can have whatever he wants and I am giving it to him and asking for nothing in return. I don’t know what else to do. I just want it to end how I feel like it should but it was a terrible time in his life to try something and now I am diving head first into something that is probably completely meaningless to him. I feel nauseous and insecure and so tired. I just want him to say he likes me and wants to see if we can try to work something out or even that he can’t do anything because of traveling or something but will when he settles down. But here we are instead…miserable. Why can I never get what I deserve?
